“Seek first to understand…
Then to be understood.”
(Covey, 1997)
Effective
conversation is 2-way process that depends on speaking and listening.
Definition of Listening
Listening (ILA, 1996): The process
of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or
nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention.
Listening is
composed of six distinct components
Hearing:
The physiological process
of receiving sound and/or other stimuli.
Attending:
The conscious and
unconscious process of focusing attention on external stimuli.
Interpreting:
The process of
decoding the symbols or behavior attended to.
Evaluating:
The process of deciding the
value of the information to the receiver.
Remembering:
The process of placing the
appropriate information into short-term or long term
storage.
Responding:
The process of giving feedback to the source
and/or other receivers.
Importance of Listening: -
Nature gave us two ears but only one
tongue, which is a gentle hint that we should listen more than we talk. Listening
is a crucial part of process of communication. Communication cannot take place until
and unless a message is heard and retained thoroughly and positively by the
receivers/listeners. Listening implies decoding (i.e. translating the symbols
into meaning) and interpreting the message correctly in communication process. Listening
is important because it helps us to learn and to understand. Usually, a person
who listens properly is able to react appropriately to a particular situation
or towards a particular person.
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| Importance of listening |
Types of Listening
Basically, there are four types of
listening:-
Active listening:-
Active
listening is
a structured form of listening and responding that focuses the attention on the
speaker. The listener must take care to attend to the speaker fully, and then
repeats, in the listener=s own words, what he or she thinks the speaker has said.
The listener does not have to agree with the speaker--he or she must simply
state what they think the speaker said. This enables the speaker to find out
whether the listener really understood. If the listener did not, the speaker
can explain some more.
How to become an
Active Listener? :-
There are five key
elements of active listening. They all help to ensure that you hear the other
person, and the other person realizes that you are hearing what he/she says.
1.
Pay Attention
Give the speaker your
undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal
communication also "speaks" loudly.
·
Look at the speaker
directly.
·
Don't mentally prepare
a rebuttal!
·
Avoid being distracted
by environmental factors. For example, side conversations.
·
"Listen" to
the speaker's body language.
2.
Show That You're Listening
Use your own body
language and gestures to convey your attention.
·
Nod occasionally.
·
Smile and use other
facial expressions.
·
Note your posture and
make sure it is open and inviting.
·
Encourage the speaker
to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.
3.
Provide Feedback
Our personal filters,
assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener,
your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect
what is being said and ask questions.
·
Reflect what has been
said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," and "Sounds like
you are saying," are great ways to reflect back.
·
Ask questions to
clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say." "Is
this what you mean?"
·
Summarize the
speaker's comments periodically.
4.
Defer Judgment
Interrupting is a
waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the
message.
·
Allow the speaker to
finish each point before asking questions.
·
Don't interrupt with
counter arguments.
5.
Respond Appropriately
Active listening is a
model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and
perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him
or her down.
·
Be candid, open, and
honest in your response.
·
Assert your opinions
respectfully.
·
Treat the other person
in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated.
Passive Listening:-
Some listeners ignore
both the speaker and the message. Such listening is known as passive listening.
Passive listener seems as if he/she is listening but he allows his mind to
travel elsewhere. He is mentally absent from the communication atmosphere. He
does not try to retain the audio message.
This is the opposite of active listening, which is where a person is reacting
to what they are hearing and it shows they understand and are listening.
Examples of passive listening signs are sitting still, not responding, and not
showing recognition that a person has heard or understood what is being said.
Selective Listening:-
In such type of listening, the
listener uses his own frame of references to analyze the speakers’ message. Listener
has his own set of requirement of information’s or interests and according to these
factors, he ignores or retains the speakers’ message.
Marginal Listening:-
Marginal Listening
is to listen something that is not one's primary focus of attention (e.g.,
listening to a radio in the background while working). During periods of
marginal listening, a listener exhibits blank stares, nervous mannerisms, and
gestures that annoy the prospect and cause communication barriers
Evaluative
listening:-
Evaluative
listening requires more concentration and
attention to the speaker’s words. At this level, the listener actively tries to
hear what the speaker says but doesn’t make any effort to understand the
intent. Instead of accepting and trying to understand a speaker’s message, the
evaluative listener concentrates on preparing a response. Evaluative listening
is used most of the time.
